January Special Event!

Let the weather outside be frightful –
join us for something delightful...

South Central Wisconsin BDSM Friends
presents:
the "Frosty Dinner"
Saturday, January 17th, 2009

Doors will open at 7:00 pm,
dinner will be served at 7:30,
with the event ending at 10:30

Admission: $15 per couple

At this dinner, submissives will serve their dominants.
This will be a formal dinner, though jackets are not
required. Please dress appropriately.

We apologize in advance that the location for
the Frosty Dinner is not handicapped accessible.

*To RSVP (or for more information),
contact kimaya (kimaya@orbisian.com)
by January 10th, 2009*
http://groups.google.com/group/southcentralwibdsmfriends

More about "Erotic Slavehood"

I have finally worked my way through the book into the area that I feel many slaves will consider the fun part.;) This section is all about being a sex slave. In the very beginning she talks about how many slaves first discover their submissive tendencies in a sexual context. I agree with her and it started me thinking about how many folks ever move past that. I see many people on line especially who only want to submit in a sexual way. I'm not saying that is a good or bad thing, just wondering I guess.

In the next section she talks about sex workers as role models. This got me to thinking about my service and how in many ways it is like a profession. I'm always seeking to learn better ways of serving. I'm not sure that I'm really trying to learn new things sexually, so that landed in the things to do pile...lol. There was a great quote in this section that I just have to share...

"At it's best, sex work can become a spiritual calling, a vocation in the highest sense. Sex workers are healers and priestesses. They take a powerful experience - sex- and use it to move themselves and others into ecstacy and communication with the divine."

Next she moves into sex as psychology. She talks about how attitude is what makes a sex slave different than a lover. She focuses on serving vs self gratification, discretion, integrity, and honesty. From her she moves on to cover self care. I liked how she talked about getting enough rest for the body, mind and soul so that you can truely be the best slave possible.

She covers safer sex and talks about educating yourself. Personal care including: shaving, enemas and douches, controlling orgasm throught PC exercises and tantra, masturbation and erotic touch including how to get over shyness around stripping ect...

Next she covers clothing, restraint, and chastity devices, notes on corsetry, belts and cages. following this we move into anal plus, oral service, vaginal service including: Toys, Penis, fisting and g-spot stimulation. Lastly she covers anal sex.

Whew! Yeah that was alot of sex to cover...lol. Overall I liked what she had to say and as I've stated before I like her writting style. In this section of reading I really appreciated all of the safety advice she gave. Two thumbs up for me!

Erotic Slavehood by Christina Abernathy

kitten

More From "Erotic Slavehood"

This portion of the book was about Household Management. I thought it was written at a pretty simplistic level, but then again that is what some folks need. I found myself being really pleased that she put so much importance on this part of service. I feel that often slaves think that it is all about the sex and then are disappointed to learn that there is more to it then that. So she starts off talking about housework and cleaning. She outlines the reasons why a slave might want/need to know how to do these things.

Housework: first up is basic cleaning. She gives the submissive tips on how to get started.

Inventory all rooms
Go over each room asking yourself, "Is there anything I do not know how to clean?".
Break the jobs into small manageable tasks.
Gather your tools.
Complete each task before moving on.
Note any difficulties you encounter, brainstorm solutions.
Note how long each task takes.
Draw up a regular cleaning schedule.

Laundry: In this section she really just gives the basics of doing laundry.

Dishes: Again just the basics of hand washing and using a dishwasher.

Grocery Shopping: In this section she goes into great detail about how to formulate a list. She talks about never shopping hungry and meal planning.

Basic cooking: In this section she discusses basic cooking skill, simple meals, recipes and lastly how to make coffee and tea.

All of this info is really well laid out even if it seems rather elementary. No slave would have much of an excuse after reading this especially with all of the exercises and extra reading resources she provides.

Erotic Slavehood
Christina Abernathy


kitten

Basic Training continued...

Well as you can see I've been doing more reading. :) Ms. Abernathy starts this chapter out asking the question, "What is obediance?". I really like how she discussed that obediance is more than just following rules. She went on to speak about the, "spirit of the law vs the letter of the law". I've seen many slaves/subs including myself be guilty of doing what they are told but not at all in the spirit it was intended. Loving care is not the same as I'm doing this but only cause your making me....lol.

The next topic covered was meditation. Now I use this in my spiritual practice and so this was nothing new to me. I've used meditation in so many ways throughout my adult life and I was happy to see it being offered here. She discusses it in the book as a way to become more aware of your inner thoughts, your surroundings and your body.

She also speaks briefly about physical states. Do you fidget ect...? Following this is a discussion about awareness of cues. What does sadness look like, or anger, or sleepiness?

The next portion of the book deals with journaling. I love to journal so I was happy to see this covered. She talks about how a slave should learn the discipline of writing in a slave journal everyday. The content doesn't matter so much as long as it is respectful. Along with this she covers voice training and forms of address.

Lastly she covers personal care and fitness. There is some brief discussion about how your appearance reflects on your Owner/Trainer. She talks about posture and things you can do to help you be more fit for the training process. From here she goes into voice commands and body positions.

I'm still really enjoying the reading. I find that most of this is info I know, but it is still a good reminder. I think this book could really be helpful to a new to the lifestyle slave or just someone who need some discipline in their life.

Erotic Slavehood
Christina Abernathy


kitten

More About "Erotic Slavehood"

I have moved on in my reading to the chapter called, "Training With Miss Abernathy, a workbook for erotic slaves and their owners." I really enjoyed this part of the book. She talks about the submissive/slave really considering their readiness to be involved with a Dominant/Owner. She encourages the reader to consider their likes and dislikes as well as their talents and shortcomings. Included in this is encouragement to study ways to achieve the things they desire in order to be a more well rounded person. There is also some discussion on contracts. I was cheering her on as she brought up how family, friends and community might respond to your lifestyle change. I often encounter subs/slaves who have the attitude that they really want to serve as long as it doesn't mess with their life to much ect.... In closing I'd like to include my favorite quote from this section: "No matter how technicaly correct the execution of a task may be, without the inner sense of earnest dedication a submissive brings to the work, the result is worthless."

Erotic Slavehood
by: Christina Abernathy


kitten

More Erotic Slavehood

Last night I finished up part two and I really enjoyed it. It has been refreshing for me to read a book about Master/slave relationships since so many of the books seem aimed at play and nothing more. The first two subjects she covers in this next chapter are: How to find a submissive, and what to look for in a submissive. The basic qualities she lists are as follows:

Sincere
Loyal
Discreet
Clean
Modest
Graceful
Intelligent
Respectful
Observant
and Ethical

I was very happy to see "Intelligent" on that list. Often I see Obedient and not intelligent. That being said I think obedience is very important. Next she covered the qualities of a Dominant. They are as follows:

Personal Integrity
A clear sense of needs and limitations
A clear communicator
Good personal boundaries
Inquisitive
Creative
Versatile
Decisive
Intimate knowledge of the task that She/He sets forth for the submissive.

That last one is really important in my mind. There have been MANY times as a submissive when I have been asked to do something and then had it really not work out the way the Dominant intended it to. Often I feel this is because they really did not think it through. How hard is this task, does she have enough time to complete it, is she physically able?

The rest of Part 2 was dedicated to Commitment resources, Styles of dominance, Foundations of submissive ethics, Support for submissives, Taxonomy of slavehood, Types of D/s arrangements, D/s relationships, Contracts, Ending an association and the importance of prenuptials.

She really covers alot of ground in this second part. I can tell that she actually knows the lifestyle because she has lived it. So often when reading online I see people writing and it is so unrealistic. You get a sense that the only D/s lifestyle they have experience has all occurred at the keyboard. I cannot wait to see what is coming next!

The book is:
Erotic Slavehood
Author: Christina Abernathy

kitten

A new book review.

I'm going to be reviewing a new book in segments, as I read it. I'm currently reading "Erotic Slavehood" by Christina Abernathy. I really enjoyed the Forward by Laura Antoniou. I have read her bdsm novels and really enjoyed them. What I liked about her Forward was how she admitted that all those wonderful bdsm novels are just that novels. It would be damn near impossible to actually live many of these fantasies.

In her introduction she talks about "What is bdsm?", "What bdsm is not", and "How D/s is different?". I really like her candidness as well as her practicality.

In part 1 (chapter 1) she covers "The Training Program". I really thought the info about interviewing a submissive was really well written. It highlighted the importance of knowing your submissive beyond just her/his erotic likes and dislike, limits ect...She speaks to knowing medical limitations as well as what medications the submissive is currently using. She also includes having a list of emergency contacts and knowing what info is safe to divulge to these contacts. And finally limitations of play that includes past abuse and incest history.

The ideas that kept coming up in my mind as I read through this part of the book are as follows: A Master/Mistress really needs to be consistant. It is important to the slave/submissive to know what expectations are in order to fulfill them. It is also a sign of committment in the eyes of the submissive if the Master/Mistress/Dom is being consistant. If the submissive slips up and the Dominant does not notice it can really be crushing to the submissive. I hav experienced this myself and know the pain it can cause. On the other hand, noticing the well done work of a submissive is also important. Praise and rewards show that the Dom is please which fills the submissives heart with joy and a sense of security.

Part 1 had much more content then I can communicate in one post. I can say that so far I'm really enjoying the book and I'm looking forward to reading the next installment.

kitten

What's going on??

We have had a busy summer. We have had some nice meetings with interesting conversation as well as a fun picnic. At our last meeting Kimaya presented on the Gorean lifestyle. It was really interesting and I thought it stimulated some great exchanges of ideas. For our next meeting Dagda is going to present info on the "old guard". I'm looking forward to hearing more about that. We do not have a date chosen for our next meeting, but I'm sure one will be selected soon.

Happy fall,
kitten

Picnic!

Join us Sat. for a picnic at Olin park in Madison. We will meet at 1pm in the parking lot. My Master and I drive a tan Taurus wagon. Please bring a dish to pass and your own plates ect...

Hope to see you there!
kitten

Upcoming Event

We will be having a lunch/discussion group get together this week Saturday June 7th. We will be meeting for lunch at Noon over at the Panera on Fish Hatchery Rd. For directions please email kimaya@orbisian.com. At the lunch, directions will be given for the location of the discussion group, which will run until 3:30pm.

Hope to see you there!

Shibari You Can Use part 2

I really like this book the more that I have read it. So it has good pics and I think easy to follow directions. In the back she has many links to educational websites, Shibari as art websites, and sites to help you buy rope. She also has some other books listed. All in all fun reading.;) Kitten gives it 4 paws up!

kitten

Great Meeting

Our small group had a meeting last Saturday. We got together for lunch at Noodles, then went to Dagda & kitten's house for the discussion portion of the day. It was extremely interesting & has greatly inspired my Master to say the least...lol. I won't go into particulars because of confidentiality (what is said at the meeting, stays at the meeting) but some of the broad topics we covered included:

What is the importance of "props" in a BDSM relationship? (including those that are just straight D/s with no SM)
What is a prop? What isn't a prop? Can one object be a prop sometimes, but not all the time?

Rituals used within the M/s relationship to help keep the dynamic strong during stressful times

What is a slave? a submissive? a bottom?
What is an Owner? a Master? a Dominant? a Top?
What is a switch?

And much much more...

We may have been a small group (Dagda, kitten, my Master(Aldous) and myself (kimaya) but it was very enjoyable and interesting.

We hope to see a few new faces for the next meeting!
Please email me at kimaya@orbisian.com, or email kitten at shawnskitten@gmail.com, for info about this group

Join us!

We are still hoping to have some new floks join our forum. If you are interested please e-mail me at shawnkitten@gmail.com

kitten

Shibari

For a long time I have been interested in bondage useing rope, or Shabari to be exact. I've been wanting to go to see a demonstration for some time now but life just keeps getting in the way. My Master and I were in a local bookstore and saw a book I've been wanting to read for some time "Shabari You Can Use: Japanese Rope Bondage And Erotic Macrame". My Master being the generous man that he is encouraged me to grab it and funded my fun as well! The first thing I noticed was that the photography was really nice. So far it is all black and white which might be boring to some. I love black and white photography so to me it was beautiful. Another thing that pleased me was the cornucopia of different types of bodies represented. Now I've only started the book and will be updating this blog a I get farther into the book. The beginning of the book talks about the reasons why someone might be interested in bondage. I found the author (Lee "Bridgett" Harrington) to be frank, funny and engaging. Next it went into all the different types of rope, what works best for what, and lastly the care and cleaning of the rope. I found it to be easy to understand and really interesting. I can't wait to get further in and see what comes next. I will be needing "victims" to practice on. ;)

Kitten

Spring Cleaning

Spring is here and to many folks that means spring cleaning. Spring cleaning can mean a lot of things, but usually it means just how it sounds - cleaning.

Do you "spring clean" your BDSM toys & bondage materials?

Do you "spring clean" your BDSM checklist? Your contract (if you have one)?

Do you "spring clean" the state of your relationship?

I'll reply to this with my own thoughts in a few days, after Master & I finish moving... the ultimate spring cleaning!!

Book Review (Part I) -- Carrie's Story (crossposted from southcentralwibdsmfriends discussion boards)

I've recently been enjoying Carrie's Story: An Erotic S/M Novel (there are unerotic ones?) by Molly Weatherfield. While I've never seen myself as a book reviewer, I'm enjoying it enough that I'd like to a) recommend it and b) throw out some random thoughts that the book has sparked in the hopes of stimulating discussion.

I'm a little over a third of the way through the book at this point. The story, told in the first person by "Carrie," begins when she is several months into her consensual slavery to a man she calls Jonathan. Carrie is a recent college grad/budding literary theorist/ bike messenger. Jonathan owns his own architecture firm and is in most ways the stereotypical tall, dark, handsome, and rich Dom who lives in a mansion with servants and a quasi-Victorian library where much of the fun occurs.

In spite of the cliches, I found the first two chapters, which focus on Carrie's introduction to Jonathan and the development of their relationship, engrossing. Basically, Carrie is a young woman who has masturbated to S/M porn since adolescence; Jonathan recognizes the "signs" at a party and begins her training.

One of the things I've found amusing is Carrie's attempts to intellectualize her experiences with Jonathan. She and her (mostly) gay male roommate lie around on the nights she isn't with Jonathan trying to apply literary theory to the story that is unfolding in her life. It's cute, though you never get the sense that theory is going to take them that far in understanding.
At the very beginning of the book Jonathan informs Carrie that he wishes to sell her at auction. The author has come up with an interesting (and politically correct) way to deal with this -- the men in Jonathan's circle buy and sell slaves for periods of service -- but most of the money goes into an account in the slave's name that she can access once the period of service is over. Slavery as long-term prostitution in a way.

One theme that the book has reminded me of already is the "Pygmalian" desire of Dominants to show off their handiwork (i.e., their slave and her behavior). The fictional Carrie shrewdly (I believe) recognizes that this is the real motivation behind most sharing/trading/ displaying of subs/slaves. I know that, as a Master, the prospect of "showing off" my kitten to other Doms is very appealing. Another one of those fantasies that I'm not sure I would want to ever act on, however. Ah the beautiful complications that come from being in love with your slave!
Well, I've meandered about on this topic long enough for one day. I'll post Part II of this review once I've finished the novel. In the meantime, has anyone else read this book? Or another novel that they would like to recommend or discuss? And do any of the Doms or subs reading this have any thoughts on any of the topics above?

Master Dagda

Body Modification

This week I was looking into some movies that I like made by Chinese film makers. Long story short my travels on the web led me to several sites where Chinese footbinding was the topic. I'm not going to get into that subject too deeply except to say that it was pretty extreme. All that led me to thinking about bdsm and how far I'd be willing to go with my body. I'm wondering what others feel about this. If you surf into this blog please leave a comment for us. How far would you go? Piercing, tattooing, or even more extreme branding. Now I'm not saying how far would you go in doing these things to please yourself, but how far would you go to please your Master or Owner? I can't wait to hear what folks say!

Satyricon

If you are interested in meeting a nice group of folks you should check these people out. They have monthly meetings. Sometimes they have discussions, sometimes demonstrations, and sometimes speakers. I've made two good friends in this group and that alone made it worth it for me. You'll meet all kinds of folks, all ages. If you are looking for a way to plug into the local community this group could be a big help!

http://satyricon-ds.hypermart.net/

Sat.event

I really enjoyed Sat. event! I'm looking forward to what our future discussion times will be like. I felt we covered many topics and did it with understanding and open minds. I'm really looking forward to having more folks involved in the discussion. It was good to be able to have an outlet for all the questions that both of us have had.

Saturday's Event

Thank you to all who came out yesterday for the discussion group! I thought it went really well, we shared a lot of diverse ideas and managed to find a few common themes. The main one being we are all living our lifestyles very intelligently. I thoroughly enjoyed the "field trip" to A Woman's Touch and the leather store; the entire day was a lot of fun. I am looking forward to the next one. :)

Sat.

I'm really looking forward to our first event on Sat. I hope many of you can make it out. I love going to "A Woman's Touch". They have such nice things and such a nice atmosphere. I'm also really looking forward to the discussion and dinner. Now we just all need to cross our fingers that it doesn't snow and or get cold on us and ruin our plans. The weather has been so cruddy. So cross your fingers and all your toes too! ;)

Events

Well I thought First Fridays was fun. :) I'm going to try to take time to look up the Shibari con online this week. I think that would be a fun trip to take.

One thing I will comment on is that it is really hard to hear in that bar. I'm surprised that they hav enot tried to secure a bigger space with more tables. I'm really hoping that folks will start coming out to our discussion nights. I think it will be much easier to talk to folks in that setting.

First Friday

So, last night was a lot of fun! It was extremely crowded, but its nice to see that kind of turn out. It did make conversation a bit difficult, but it was nice just to hang out with my friends and have a couple drinks in a place where we are allowed to wear our collars without attracting funny looks and stares. We also talked to at least one person who is interested in joining the group, so that is a good thing!

Happy Friday Eve

We made it to Thursday! lol. Tomorrow should be lots of fun. First Friday's is a nice local event that is very casual. You don't "have" to do anything but hang out. You can get food, drinks, or talk to people if you feel comfortable. Being shy to talk to strangers, I'm glad that I have my friends (& fellow members of this group) to attend with, or I probably wouldn't go. That is one of the reasons we are forming this group: it can be much easier to attend lifestyle events where you don't know anyone, if you are going in a group!

Friday

I'm really looking forward to Friday. One thing I like about First Fridays is the way that each time you go you get to see different folks. I almost always meet someone I have not met before. I'm hoping that I'll be able to meet some folks that we can invite to the forum.

Invites

Hi there! Hmmm I guess I should blog something here...hmmm well I invited two new folks to the list today which if they join will bring us up to 5 members. :) I'm really excited to see where this blog and forum go.

Madison First Friday

Well here goes my first post for this list.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MadisonFirstFriday

First Friday

Date:

Friday February 1, 2008
Time:

7:30 pm - 10:30 pm
Repeats:

This event repeats every month on the first Friday.
Next reminder:

The next reminder for this event will be sent in 7 days, 4 minutes.
Notes:

First Friday meets on the FIRST FRIDAY OF EVERY MONTH from about 7:30pm to about whenever people go home (realistically in the 10:00 to 11:00 range, but whenever, it's pretty casual).WHERE we meet: We currently meet at "The Bar Next Door" (232 E. Olin Ave, Madison, 608-256-9430)place. It's literally right next door to the better known Colliseum Bar, We are UPSTAIRS at "The Bar Next Door."DRESS IS VANILLA. This is an opportunity to socialize, meet and greet, and talk, both scene related and everything else. for more info email: SirKeithD@...

I'm here, I'm here!

Finally got my account set up and managed to join the blog. Now all I have to do is get into the forum. I

Ok...

I'm here and I'm sorry about my confusing e-mail. You've got this done and that is great. Shawn will be setting up his e-mail account this weekend.

Test post...

This is just a test of the South Central WI BDSM Friends' broadcasting system.... I repeat this is only a test.....